Let me tell you how mindfulness, meditation and running were the three key factors to changing my life.
I used to run a lot. I ran trying to ignore what my body was telling me. I used to push myself mindlessly as a means of releasing all the pent-up frustrations inside. I ran until I finally ended up ill with severe weight loss, irregular sleep patterns, accumulated stress festering inside me and my energy through the floor. I was reaching burnout and I wasn’t paying attention to the warning signs.
During this part of my life I was in a job that left me frustrated and tired, I suffered from insomnia, I would come home from work to two busy boys that left me exhausted, everything was against the clock – no time to eat properly at work (or at home), no family near to lend a helping hand, housework to be done, being a mum and wife…I didn’t exist. I was so overwhelmed, rushed and overloaded that my head and body became foggy and I totally detached myself from my self. I was in effect, a zombie. A shell on automatic pilot who had stopped being aware and in tune with my mind and body. And I ran and ran and ran believing this would fix all my troubles.
The danger to running and not being mindful about what is happening in your body is a surefire way to end up with an injury. In my case I was pushing myself whilst not fuelling my body properly, not getting enough sleep or rest and running myself into the ground. Burnout time.
Thankfully, I realised this was the wake-up call I needed to radically change things in my life. I got back into meditation which was the Noº1 factor to raise awareness about my physical and emotional condition and trained my mind to be more mindful and focused. I started to tune back in and feel more balanced. My sleep patterns became normal. My energy was back and my persona. The zombie had taken a hike. I gave up my job to pursue things that I am passionate about. I am now a better mother and wife. The pieces of the puzzle started to fit back together again. I feel great!
The difference now about my runs is that I know when to push my limits with mindfulness and when to ease off. I know when my body needs rest and how my body responds to exercise. Runs are more motivating than ever. I really appreciate being outdoors and the sensory experience of the air moving, the sounds and sights on my runs, my focused breathing, the rhythm of my feet hitting the floor. Thoughts and emotions now float through my mind like passing clouds in the sky instead of clinging on to them or denying them altogether. Running has become a moving meditation. Each time I notice I am distracted, I quickly bring my attention back to the present by focusing on my breath and sensations in my body, again and again. This is great brain gym exercise too!
Dealing with suffering
Now when I push my limits and feel pain, suffering or a time when I feel like I can’t go on I ask myself the following questions to decide what action needs to be taken:
Is this pain new to me or have I felt it before?
Could this discomfort be related to an injury or is it from hard effort in training?
How would I describe the intensity of this discomfort? Is it sharp, throbbing or dull?
Having curiosity for these sensations helps to plan whether it’s time to seek medical advice, have a rest day or to push on through mindfully by embracing the physical sensations in the body understanding the ever-changing nature of pain. Is my brain matter trying to tell me to stop running far sooner than my body actually requires? Mindfulness helps bring awareness to those negative habits that might come up such as telling you to quit far too soon. Do these repeating patterns affect you in other aspects of your life? My running mind used to tell me to ignore myself and all my sensations until I turned into a burntout wreck.
Zombies don’t rule! Kill the zombie!
Comments